....Fleetwood Mac....

THE FIRST FLEETWOOD MAC ALBUM I EVER BOUGHT WAS THE DANCE. I wore it out. I just bought a new copy, but the copy I had was so screwed up and scratched, I knew I had fallen in love all those years ago. I remember watching the concert at my uncle's house, watching Stevie in her flowing black chiffon, the music flowing into my ears and into my heart. They were all pretty fascinating; the best part was my uncle telling me that Stevie was a witch, and that she was like "us", and the clothes she was wearing were available online. I was so happy to know that. I was also 13. I remember his "wife" explaining who the Goddess Rhiannon was, and what she did. That was amazing. This band was the most mystical, beautiful, awesome thing I had ever seen or heard!! But really....weren't they both telling me what they knew of The Mac from what they'd known from the 70's? I think so. What does Stevie say about being a witch? Well, that she isn't one.

I've talked about Stevie though. What I want to talk about is the Fleetwood Mac I've loved for so long without even knowing it. I mean I could talk about them as a whole, and which incarnation is not my favourite:

*COUGH*

(anytime you need to replace one guy with two, it's never good)

I could talk about which songs I love. My favourite Stevie penned song? "Rhiannon", "Dreams", "Gold Dust Woman", "Silver Springs".....really I could go on....my favourite Christine penned songs? "Songbird", "Hold Me", "Over My Head", "Say You Love Me", "Little Lies". Lindsey? He's a bit trickier. I mean....really....my favourite song of his "My Little Demon". Sorry Buckingham, but I'm a sucker for the girlies.

The best way for me to do this is to talk about each of them as artists. Why they appeal to me, why their music does what it does to me. Why when I yell TUSK! it makes me happy! I guess I'll start with:

Christine McVie

Sexy as hell, talented like you wouldn't believe, and very underestimated in my viewing. This brooding beauty wrote some of the most bluesy and beautiful songs that The Mac ever had. I think I always forget how a Christine McVie song can puncture my gut. When I put an FM album in the player and drive to work, her songs always sneak up on me. They always start my eyes watering, and I try, in vain, to sing along. I can't sing her songs. She owns them with that haunting, willowy tone. I'm sorry, Chris, I should listen to you more often.

Lindsey Buckingham

Oh Jesus, what can I say about Lindsey? He plays like a crazy man, fast and furious with the same familiar sound. I always recognize Lindsey's handiwork, and I like it. I have to be in the mood for his music, but I always enjoy it. It's like candy: I can't have too much or I get tired of it. YES, without him the incarnation of The Mac that I love would not sound like they do. Lindsey's songs are always mean, but fun, and very sexual. You're one horny son of a gun, dude.

Mick Fleetwood

I'll be honest--I don't much attention to Mick. I think this is a case of, Chris, Stevie, and Lindsey brainwashed me. I feel like a dork now. I mean I've gone through the trouble of separating him from JOHN for crying out loud. Isn't it sort of sad that I don't pay attention to the FOUNDER of my favourite band?

He's a neat guy for sure, an amazing drummer, and for some reason has this hold on Stevie Nicks that I can't even understand. When I watch Mick play I'm all, YEAH! YOU LOOK INSANE, DUDE!! How much of your eyeballs can I see today?????!!! I appreciate the guy, I do. I guess when you're not a drummer and the short girl in the tall boots holds your attention, it's hard to keep your eyes on the heart of the band in the background. (SORRY KDJ!)

John McVie

This dude is a badass. I say that coz he's in one of the most famous bands in the world, and I'm pretty sure if I saw him in Walmart, I'd be the only one freaking out. John does his job, gets paid, and goes fishing. Damn straight. My kinda guy!! Whooo....nice hat....HELP!! OH help. I'm sorry. (You guys reading this are like, you fucking poser.....lol) NO I love John. I like watching him. People are screaming and yelling and wearing weird clothes and he's just, jamming his ass off!!!

Stevie Nicks

(See Link. <3)

Anyways before I dig a hole I cannot climb out of, I'll say this:

If I did not have Fleetwood Mac's music in my life I'd be pretty boring. I'm so glad my misguided Uncle showed them to me. He said something once about "Stevie is a witch", and I said "she said she's not a witch, she just likes to wear black." He shut up real damn quick, the student had surpassed the teacher, and it felt GOOD! BWAHHAAHHAAHAHHAH!!!!!!!!!

*cough*

So....what did we learn? We learned that Moni needs to get her Mick Fleetwood learnin' on. Also, I love The Mac and they make me happy.

AND NOW, THE GRATUITOUS CHRIS ISAAK PICTURE!!!

OH....SHAKE IT. <3

HAZ A GOOD NIGHT PIPPLEZ!!

~Moni

....PhylNez, The Monkees, and Why I Know Who They Are....

PHYLLIS ANN BARBOUR NESMITH MET ROBERT MICHAEL NESMITH IN COLLEGE. The fact that I just typed that means, well, I wasn't doing much French homework (or any homework for that matter) in high school. I can also tell you the name of their two boys, and the dogs. YES I know too much. Phylnez died on Saturday of Lou Gherig's Disease. She was a pretty lady and apparently a very nice person too. If you can hear me Phyllis, I hope you're feeling much better. To Christian, Jonathan, and Jessica (is she Phyl's or Katherine's daugther?), I'm sorry about your Mommy. Jason, sorry about your stepmoms.

Why do I care? Well....The Monkees and their various familial off-shoots were a big part of my life in High School. I wasn't particularly a POPULAR teen, and you're really not too hip when you own, and carry around, a Monkees lunchbox full of Monkees CD's that you and your best friend literally saved our pennies for. You're hip alright, in 1966 standards.

I trade in my "stud" every seven or ten years. Needless to say I can name them all: Jonathan Brandis, A.J. McLean, Michael Nesmith, and Chris Isaak. (It's obvious the famous man that holds my affection holds it for a long time. I'm a Sagittarius, what can I say?)

Back in the day Michael was the "least" favourite Monkee, Davy being the favourite, (he just got drunk and challenged the whole audience to fight at one of his shows and on my birthday NO LESS) but to me, Michael was VERY attractive, and I appreciated his skinny, geeky, gawky frame. I loved his huge nose, pouty lips, and olive skin. No matter that he looked like that CLOSE TO 40 YEARS BEFORE I EVER SAW HIM....although I'd loved the Monkees since I was six. He always stood out to me; it was that damned GREEN woolhat! I would have posted another picture to illustrate how hot I thought he was, but without the hat nobody even realizes its him.

Anyways, back to my weird story.

We were such Monkees fans back in the day that we transcribed the "Fairy Tale" episode and did it as a play for the RenFaire here in our town. NERDS I TELLS YA!! Of course I was Princess Gwen, the character Nez played for most of the episode. You HAVE to see it:

Michael obviously meant a lot to me, and so I wrote fanficiton. Phyllis, being the first wife, got a lot of crucifying from my character, who took on the role of Nurit Wilde, becoming Michael's mistress and Jason Nesmith's mother. (I had no life, okay?) I had to do my research. I read A LOT of fansites, opened one of my own that I never quite organized, and developed enough of a fandom that I had favourite fansites, the best one being Psycho-Jello!!

How sad that the fansite had to die. There were some good ones.

I wrote a lot of stories, and put "Phyllis" through a lot. Hell, I was even Peter Tork's "wife" in a few of them.

Anyway, it's very sad that she's gone, and I hope that her family is doing okay.

AND NOW THE GRATUITOUS CHRIS ISAAK PICTURE!!!

"ooh my love...." You may very well be the last of those "studs".

HAZ A GOOD NIGHT PIPPLEZ!

~Moni

....Garth Marenghi's Darkplace, The Mighty Boosh, and My Tattoo IS DONE!....

GARTH MARENGHI'S DARKPLACE IS ONE OF THE FUNNIEST THINGS I'VE EVER SEEN. I can't say that I don't know why I love it. I remember as a kid watching one of many of Stephen King's mini-series thinking "why in the lord's name are there so many of these?" One thing I don't know is why there was such a horror boom on TV. I do know that I couldn't watch much TV without getting some sort of fucked up image that, probably, still pops into my brain at the wrong moment.

When I saw GMDP the other night on Adult Swim, even knowing how they chop up "The Mighty Boosh" like mercilious butchers, I was so happy. It really does look like an old 80's horror series complete with bad dialouge, horrible effects, and a pretentious horror writer who couldn't write a decent book if he sneezed it out (not that Stephen King is that bad, but he's not GREAT either, he always has been pretty damn pretentious though).

It's amazing that I'm old enough to get the subtle nuances, the way things are filmed, the opening credits have all the earmarks of a cheesy show. People turning to the side, holding guns, running from explosions, women holding their temples in the suggestion that they are psychic....IT'S AMAZING.

It cements how much of a nerd I am. I enjoy it when people parody the 80's correcty. What do I mean by correctly? Well....there's no an abundance of headbands and legwarmers, and people randomly walked into a hallway in a hospital wearing fencing gear. That used to happen A LOT on television in the 80's.

The best part is that Julian Barret and Noel Felding of the Boosh had something to do with this spectacular piece of show. Not much of something, just cameo's really but GODDAMN IT that's great!!!

I'm not sure what could make this show better, I mean it's pretty spectacular. But that's really only if you appreciate this sort of thing. I know I love it.

I wish that Adult Swim would show it in freaking order. That would be nice.

So besides my new favourite show, my tattoo is done. It's peeling right now, but I here is a picture of it the day I got it.:

I love it, it looks really good and it's HUGE. Which I love about my tattoos. For some reason the bigger the piece, the happier I am with it. Even if I get a little one I probably won't love it like I love my new pinup girl or my giant song bird and microphone. I just love being tattooed. THE PAIN SUCKS but when you get a new piece you want another one right away!! Of course this last one hurt so much it's gonna be a little bit before I ever get another big piece.

Not much more I think. Just....check out Darkplace, and The Boosh as well. Your brain may melt but you'll be so happy it did.

AND NOW THE GRATUITOUS CHRIS ISAAK PICTURE!!!!
RAWR. LOL :)

HAZ A GOOD NIGHT PIPPLEZ!!!

~Moni

....A Moni News Special Alert....

I REALLY JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU ALL....that I want to start taking commissions....I don't know if any of you are gonna wanna do that....but if you want a painting or something, EMAIL ME: golddustgypsy20@yahoo.com

I need new peeps on my Chris Isaak forum. I started this forum because, well A SHIT LOAD OF PEOPLE ON HIS OFFICIAL BOARD ARE DOUCHE LICKERS AND NEED TO BACK THE FUCK OFF MY ASS!!
*Cough*

Sorry....anyway....you find "Mr. Lucky's House of Heartbreak" by clicking the name. LOL

If you register....I MIGHT add you. LOL

THANKS FOR LISTENING!!! OR READING....OR WHATEVER!!!!

And now....the gratuitous Chris Isaak PICTURE!!

SEXY.

HAZ A GOOD NIGHT PIPPLEZ!!!

~Moni

....Zombieland, I'm a HUGE Geek, and Johnny Depp Is My Sexless Crush....

DID YOU SEE ZOMBIELAND WHEN IT CAME OUT? WELL DID YOU??? What's wrong with you! Oh my god go rent that shit right now. I hate Zombies. I hate Zombie movies, with the exception of Shaun of the Dead, I mostly hate them all. I don't like the "Feast" scenes. I watched "Dawn of the Dead", and when you cover your eyes during the....*shutter*....eating, you're basically just watching a movie about three bored ass people in a mall.

SO, when my friends wanted to watch Zombieland, I was all "hell to the mothafuckinno..." and then my sis was all "YES BITCH..." showed me the trailer, and I was in like FLYNT!! I guess....I've never seen that movie.

When that movie started, even if it was like a huge flesh ripping, bloody, people screaming and running thing....IT ROCKED. The slow motion attacks were the most awesome thing I had EVER seen. I even have a favourite zombie! The stripper in a yellow bikini and pasties, covered in blood and black bile chasing the fat guy with dollar bills flying behind him! AHHHH!! SO FUCKING FUNNY!!!

BUT THAT MY FRIENDS was not even the best part. The best part was the....well....I promised myself I wouldn't do this, but it's on DVD, and if you didn't see it, just don't read this next bit:

The BEST part was when Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson) takes Columbus (Jessie Isenberg), and the girls Wichita and Little Rock, to look for a place to crash in Hollywood. He takes them to the "tippy top of the a-list", and strolls into the mansion....of the great....the badass....the Moni-Mecha surprise....BILL FUCKIN' MURRAY!! What follows is one HUGE Ghostbusters joke. I almost passed the fuck out in the movie theater.

Which brings me to the fact that I'm a huge geek. HUGE geek. I'm such a damn geek that I can recite Monty Python movies, and it's a wonder I'm single folks. Really. This parrot has ceased to be, it is no more.

But....Monty Python even leads me into Johnny Depp, for Terry Gilliam directed both the ill-fated Man of La Mancha (which became Lost in La Mancha, a very entertaining documentary) and the new movie The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus, both of which my Johnny is in.

Now I love Johnny Depp, but not as a sex object. I love him like a painting. He's beautiful to look at, I'd like him to stand against my bedroom wall, but I don't want to have sex with him. I know what you're thinking, "BUT MONI HE'S HOT!" and I'm like, yeah I'm not arguing! He's a hot man. I just don't find him sexually attractive. I know....you're thinking I'm just too devoted to my Chris Isaak....well....I'd fuck Dr. McSteamy so I'm not entirely a one man woman. I love Johnny, but we would just be really good friends. Friends that smoke cigarettes together, have the occasional alcoholic beverage, and let our kids play together. I don't have kids, but when I do their best friends will be Lilly-Rose and Jack Paradis-Depp. I love his girlfriend too. I LOVE Vanessa Paradis' song "L'incendie". It's in French but it's a BEAUTIFUL song.

SO! I think I'm done for today. Today was a good day over all, and the last post I did was very sullen and I'm sorry.

OH well....heeere'sssss THE GRATUITOUS CHRIS ISAAK PICTURE!

HAZ A GOOD SUPER BOWL NIGHT PIPPLEZ!!

~Moni

....I Really, Really Hate Valentine's Day and It Makes Me Smoke....

I WISH PEOPLE WOULD THINK BEFORE TELLING ME, "DON'T WORRY, SOMEDAY YOU'LL FIND SOMEONE."
Those people can shove it. I mean even if you told me that and I happen to love you as a friend, I'm still going to kill you. If my history has shown me anything, it's that no one wants me. Not even guys who can't get anyone. I'm getting pretty tired of Valentine's Day. I'm getting tired of huge hearts, candy, and cards that tell your "significant other" how perfect they really are. Normally I would shrug this off and say, "I don't need a man..." but as I get older, and yes I know I'm still pretty young, I feel like my life is waisted and worthless without someone to share it with. It sounds crap, it's really a pitty sandwich with extra whine, but it's true. It's getting so I can't even watch people kiss on T.V. It's killing me in ways I can't even believe. And it's making me snappy and hateful. I keep attacking my mom and her boyfriend because I have to sit there and watch them act happy and together. I don't wanna do that, and she keeps asking me what's wrong, but really she just doesn't want to see my cry anymore.

She never really has anyway. What can I do? You say I should go out and try to remedy my situation? Someday my prince will come? Well....the fucker ain't showed up yet. I've had sex with a fuck-load of losers trying to find him....and I don't like not loving the people I sleep with. It feels dirty. My soul feels used. I feel horrible about my body and myself. I feel fatter, uglier, more hopeless than anyone can in those moments. And I know what you're thinking: oh shut the fuck up your gorgeous! Or you're being realistic and you're thinking....yeah, you're not the best looking girl and you could stand to loose weight or have surgery. I mean what I WISHED I looked like is sort of counter productive to conventional beauty, but girls like this are sublimely beautiful to me:

I would love it if I looked like her. She's beautiful. Her tattoos are cool, she's just....perfect. I'd keep my cup size....lol....but I do love how she looks. She's what men want. She's what all you guys out there (unless your gay) want. You want someone who's thin, slutty, and dirty. You want someone with a waist so small you can hold onto her and pick her up. I don't have all that. As I type this....I realize that because I don't look like this and I'm alone, this is what my problem is. I'm not what any guy wants, and I'm broken about it. It's amazing, having big tits does not get you anywhere.

I have to force a smile, which is very hard at this point in my life. I usually only feel this way at weddings. Having to feel like this all day everyday in my own house is not doing me any good. It's making me very irritated and very angry. It's making eat more, and it's made me start smoking again.

I hadn't had a cigarette in three years, and had broken that a with a few cigarettes here and there. I have finished a pack off and started in a on a new one....and yeah that doesn't sound very hardcore but for me that's bad, because it was only within a few days. I want one now. I want go outside in the freezing, wet, and cold weather and smoke a cigarette and cry.

It could be worse, it could be making me drink....and I want a drink. I want a drink bad. I know that my life could be much worse....but I want a baby. I want a husband. I want a LIFE. Yes, I'm 26, I know. I've never wanted a little one more. I've never wanted to mean something someone so bad in my life.

Okay....so after all that....I have to leave you with some funny....I have to.

THE GRATUITOUS PICTURE OF MY VALENTINE!!!

Thank you baby, you make me feel so good. I love you.

HAZ A BETTAH NIGHT THAN ME PIPPLEZ!!

~Moni