DID YOU SEE ZOMBIELAND WHEN IT CAME OUT? WELL DID YOU??? What's wrong with you! Oh my god go rent that shit right now. I hate Zombies. I hate Zombie movies, with the exception of Shaun of the Dead, I mostly hate them all. I don't like the "Feast" scenes. I watched "Dawn of the Dead", and when you cover your eyes during the....*shutter*....eating, you're basically just watching a movie about three bored ass people in a mall.
SO, when my friends wanted to watch Zombieland, I was all "hell to the mothafuckinno..." and then my sis was all "YES BITCH..." showed me the trailer, and I was in like FLYNT!! I guess....I've never seen that movie.
When that movie started, even if it was like a huge flesh ripping, bloody, people screaming and running thing....IT ROCKED. The slow motion attacks were the most awesome thing I had EVER seen. I even have a favourite zombie! The stripper in a yellow bikini and pasties, covered in blood and black bile chasing the fat guy with dollar bills flying behind him! AHHHH!! SO FUCKING FUNNY!!!
BUT THAT MY FRIENDS was not even the best part. The best part was the....well....I promised myself I wouldn't do this, but it's on DVD, and if you didn't see it, just don't read this next bit:
The BEST part was when Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson) takes Columbus (Jessie Isenberg), and the girls Wichita and Little Rock, to look for a place to crash in Hollywood. He takes them to the "tippy top of the a-list", and strolls into the mansion....of the great....the badass....the Moni-Mecha surprise....BILL FUCKIN' MURRAY!! What follows is one HUGE Ghostbusters joke. I almost passed the fuck out in the movie theater.
Which brings me to the fact that I'm a huge geek. HUGE geek. I'm such a damn geek that I can recite Monty Python movies, and it's a wonder I'm single folks. Really. This parrot has ceased to be, it is no more.
But....Monty Python even leads me into Johnny Depp, for Terry Gilliam directed both the ill-fated Man of La Mancha (which became Lost in La Mancha, a very entertaining documentary) and the new movie The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus, both of which my Johnny is in.
Now I love Johnny Depp, but not as a sex object. I love him like a painting. He's beautiful to look at, I'd like him to stand against my bedroom wall, but I don't want to have sex with him. I know what you're thinking, "BUT MONI HE'S HOT!" and I'm like, yeah I'm not arguing! He's a hot man. I just don't find him sexually attractive. I know....you're thinking I'm just too devoted to my Chris Isaak....well....I'd fuck Dr. McSteamy so I'm not entirely a one man woman. I love Johnny, but we would just be really good friends. Friends that smoke cigarettes together, have the occasional alcoholic beverage, and let our kids play together. I don't have kids, but when I do their best friends will be Lilly-Rose and Jack Paradis-Depp. I love his girlfriend too. I LOVE Vanessa Paradis' song "L'incendie". It's in French but it's a BEAUTIFUL song.
SO! I think I'm done for today. Today was a good day over all, and the last post I did was very sullen and I'm sorry.
OH well....heeere'sssss THE GRATUITOUS CHRIS ISAAK PICTURE!
HAZ A GOOD SUPER BOWL NIGHT PIPPLEZ!!
~Moni
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