....Zombieland, I'm a HUGE Geek, and Johnny Depp Is My Sexless Crush....

DID YOU SEE ZOMBIELAND WHEN IT CAME OUT? WELL DID YOU??? What's wrong with you! Oh my god go rent that shit right now. I hate Zombies. I hate Zombie movies, with the exception of Shaun of the Dead, I mostly hate them all. I don't like the "Feast" scenes. I watched "Dawn of the Dead", and when you cover your eyes during the....*shutter*....eating, you're basically just watching a movie about three bored ass people in a mall.

SO, when my friends wanted to watch Zombieland, I was all "hell to the mothafuckinno..." and then my sis was all "YES BITCH..." showed me the trailer, and I was in like FLYNT!! I guess....I've never seen that movie.

When that movie started, even if it was like a huge flesh ripping, bloody, people screaming and running thing....IT ROCKED. The slow motion attacks were the most awesome thing I had EVER seen. I even have a favourite zombie! The stripper in a yellow bikini and pasties, covered in blood and black bile chasing the fat guy with dollar bills flying behind him! AHHHH!! SO FUCKING FUNNY!!!

BUT THAT MY FRIENDS was not even the best part. The best part was the....well....I promised myself I wouldn't do this, but it's on DVD, and if you didn't see it, just don't read this next bit:

The BEST part was when Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson) takes Columbus (Jessie Isenberg), and the girls Wichita and Little Rock, to look for a place to crash in Hollywood. He takes them to the "tippy top of the a-list", and strolls into the mansion....of the great....the badass....the Moni-Mecha surprise....BILL FUCKIN' MURRAY!! What follows is one HUGE Ghostbusters joke. I almost passed the fuck out in the movie theater.

Which brings me to the fact that I'm a huge geek. HUGE geek. I'm such a damn geek that I can recite Monty Python movies, and it's a wonder I'm single folks. Really. This parrot has ceased to be, it is no more.

But....Monty Python even leads me into Johnny Depp, for Terry Gilliam directed both the ill-fated Man of La Mancha (which became Lost in La Mancha, a very entertaining documentary) and the new movie The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus, both of which my Johnny is in.

Now I love Johnny Depp, but not as a sex object. I love him like a painting. He's beautiful to look at, I'd like him to stand against my bedroom wall, but I don't want to have sex with him. I know what you're thinking, "BUT MONI HE'S HOT!" and I'm like, yeah I'm not arguing! He's a hot man. I just don't find him sexually attractive. I know....you're thinking I'm just too devoted to my Chris Isaak....well....I'd fuck Dr. McSteamy so I'm not entirely a one man woman. I love Johnny, but we would just be really good friends. Friends that smoke cigarettes together, have the occasional alcoholic beverage, and let our kids play together. I don't have kids, but when I do their best friends will be Lilly-Rose and Jack Paradis-Depp. I love his girlfriend too. I LOVE Vanessa Paradis' song "L'incendie". It's in French but it's a BEAUTIFUL song.

SO! I think I'm done for today. Today was a good day over all, and the last post I did was very sullen and I'm sorry.

OH well....heeere'sssss THE GRATUITOUS CHRIS ISAAK PICTURE!

HAZ A GOOD SUPER BOWL NIGHT PIPPLEZ!!

~Moni

....Obsessed with Eyeshadow, Kids Make Me Feel Old, and I'm Sick....

FOR SOME REASON, I AM ON A MISSION TO FIND THE DEEPEST, BRIGHTEST, MOST VIVID PINK EYESHADOW YOU'VE EVER SEEN. I don't know why. I used to put a base of either lip balm or gloss on my eyelid to make my eyeshadow as thick as possible. That shit flew when I was a kid. I don't know if I could do that now. I think maybe I did that until I was 21 or so....oh yes, so long ago....soooo long ago....LOL

I don't know, the closer I get to 30 the more I realize a lot of things from my past are old, and kids eighteen and down look at me like I'm crazy. "The Ninja Turtles had pupils!!" and "Ghostbusters are awesome," mostly end up being dusted off with "what the heck is that?" It makes me feel old. I'm not OLD! I'm 26!! You kids SUCK!!! You also have no taste. "Hannah Montana"? BITCH!! TRY "JEM"!

You want a 'secret rockstar'? You got one!!!

Okay, so maybe I'm making myself old. Who knows. Whatever the case, you guys are mean. I miss a lot of stuff from when I was kid though, like, oh, I don't know, a TONIGHT SHOW HOST THAT GETS TO KEEP HIS SHOW IN THE SAME TIME SLOT IT'S BEEN IN SINCE FOREVER????!??!!
(Sorry....had to. People are dying in Haiti, send them money.)

Anyways....I'm sick, I'm getting over it...but....it sucks. Oh well. I'm tired and stuffed up, and I fell asleep talking to Sister. Bad, bad, bad. MEH!!!

OH well...
HERE'S THE GRATUITOUS CHRIS ISAAK PICTURE:

That's a good looking man right there. <3

HAVE A GOOD NIGHT PIPPLEZ!!!

~Moni

....Moni, The Scourge of Carpathia, The Toaster of Giant Marshmallow Men....

I'M IN A GHOSTBUSTING MOOD PEOPLES!!
"Ghostbusters II" is my most favourite of both movies, but I love them both equally. The rumours about the a third movie have me wondering if it's even a good idea to make that movie in this day and age. I've seen some pretty GREVIOUS offences of classic movies in my time....and that would for sure make me cry my little EctoGoggled eyes out.

The comic books have sort of quelled my thirst for NEW Ghostbusting fare, but I don't know, even if you bring back The Ramis, The Murray, The Akroyd, the very underestimated Hudson....it might just seem sad. I DON'T KNOW! You can't call me 'not dedicated" that's FOR SURE!
I suppose you could maybe do something with four new Ghostbusters, but with Judd Apatow producing....I'd have to kick his ass. NO SETH ROGANS And MICHAEL FUCKING CERAS!!!! Ever. Not in my Ghostbuster World. The last thing I need is a fart joke and a stumbling, bumbling doofus who won't just SHOOT the damn spector!!!
Anywayz....just don't fuck up my movie, Apatow.

AND NOW, THE GRATUITOUS CHRIS ISAAK PICTURE:

Have a good night pipplez.
~Moni

....Ghostbusters: Displaced Aggression....

THIS IS THE LATEST ISSUE OF "GHOSTBUSTERS: DISPLACED AGGRESSION".

I've been a huge Ghostbusters fan since I was about three-years-old. I was born three years after the first movie, and didn't get to see the second until I was about seven-years-old. This made the second movie, my favourite.
I don't usually read comic books. It's not my thing; I usually leaf through my Sisser's comics and they end up making not one lick of sense. Mostly because all I'm really doing is just looking the art over.
My criteria for good comic book art?:

*How are the women drawn? Are they just complete sex objects?

*How worth it is the story to read? Does the art overpower it?

I obviously don't have much to work with, so you can see where the interest wains in my world.

"Displaced Aggression" is the best string of comics I've seen, and the best I've read. I like the idea of all four Ghostbusters being separated and flung into different parts of the timeline. Peter is a cowboy in the Old West, Ray is a knight in Mideval England, Egon is the overlord of a futuristic world, and Winston is back in an apocalyptic New York defending it while a female Ghostbuster (with one interesting family), Rachel Unglighter, gets in her time machine on a mission to find Peter, Ray, and Egon.

It's bloody FANTASTIC. I adore it so much!! It might be that I'm fanatical Ghosthead, but whatever the reason they are pretty fantastic. I don't want to give anything away, so get off your ass and GO READ THEM!!!

~Moni