....Heavy Metal....

"LOUDER AND NASTIER THAN EVER!!" THE BOX PROCLAIMS! I love this movie. I had been waiting to own it forever, and I found it for 7.50 at Walmart. Which is like the worst place to find it, but there it was. OMG....and even the special edition!! I think I've watched it 35 times since I've had it.

If you've never seen it, it's a series of stories, animated, and accompanied by a badass soundtrack that includes Stevie Nicks' "Blue Lamp" (Which happens to be my most favourite solo song of hers). But it's not the reason I own the movie. It's only a small part of that. I had seen this movie before I knew that, and I enjoyed it so much I watched it everytime it as on T.V.
My favourite story is "The Legend of Taarna". I mean the whole movie is fantastic, very well animated, basically you don't see stuff like this anymore. YET....this is my favourite.

Taarna is summoned to help these poor people not DIE. Well, before they can even get done calling her, their gates are stormed by mutants (created by the Locnar, the magical glowing orb that connects the stories) and they are all slaughtered. Cut to a hooded figure flying through a canyon on dragon. The dragon whoops and makes cute sounds while the fly for what seems like FOREVER. Then, after all that, they land at a factory, she dismounts her dragon, takes off her robe (she's BUCKASS naked, has HUGE boobs, a tiny waist, and a perfect body) then she swims across an olympic sized pool for FOREVER....then she kneels down in front of a HUGE ALTAR....HUGE!! A little compartment opens and she GETS DRESSED FOR LIKE TEN MINUTES IN ARMOUR THAT WON'T PROTECT SHIT....with one glove....and then....I guess eventually she gets up and gets back on her dragon.

Of course....when she gets there EVERYONE is dead....so now it's not protection it's REVENGE....so she spends the rest of the story weakly fighting.

Why is it my favourite then? It's HILARIOUS!!! She's cool too....but damn she's....get OFF YOUR ASS TAARNA!!!!

Anyway....you can see that her armour isn't to keep her alive. Men. LOL

The most well done story is "B-17". It's about a WWII bomber that's being attacked. When most of the crew is killed, there are only two men left. The plane is FULL of dead soldiers. Suddenly, the second man sees a green "meteor" coming at them. It's the Locnar....and it's got EVIL intentions. The dead bodies quickly become rotting zombies hungry for flesh as the plane flies through the air. The second guy is killed, the first guy crashes the plane on an island....full of crashed planes. What's in them planes? Why more rotting zombies of course!!

It's short, sweet, and GRUESOME!!!

HERE WATCH!!!

I love this movie more than I can say. If you've NEVER SEEN IT....which by now I don't know who hasn't....GO RENT IT!!! NETFLIX! IT'S ON YOUTUBE!! There are much more awesome stories!!! AHHHH!! LOL

AND NOW....THE GRATUITOUS CHRIS ISAAK PICTURE:

Such a sexy man. Yum!

HAVE A GOOD NIGHT PIPPLEZ!!

~Moni