....Chris Isaak Fucking Sang To Me....

Chris and I

Phoenix, Arizona

September 23, 2010

YES THIS IS A PICTURE OF ME AND CHRIS ISAAK, MAN OF MY DREAMS. I scrimped and saved for a V.I.P ticket knowing that he was no longer doing meet and greet lines. I have met him before in the line, but it was for a very short moment. This was very different.

I went to Phoenix, AZ for this one, buying a new dress, having my sister making me a flower for my hair, and wearing six inch heels. BADASS six inch heels....that I could barely walk in but HEY! I didn't care. I looked good.

I would tell you what happened when I got there, but really all that happened was I stood around with my sister and this very nice lady I made friends with named Mara, (HAI GUUURLLL!) and saw Chris' drummer, Kenney Dale Johnson, walk up to the glass door of the bar at the Celebrity Theater, and I pointed him out to my sister. She didn't see him. She was too busy talking with Mara about cats.

After waiting, saying bye to my Sis (we could only afford me), and being so nervous that I broke out the night before, Chris walked into the room with Kenney following him. Chris walked by me wearing his black shirt and white pants, holding his J-200 Gibson with his name emblazoned on it. He said, "hi" to me, and all that came out of me was this weird, desperate sounding "hi."

He and Kenney sat down, decided they would surprise us, and broke into "You Hurt Me So". Which....I've heard him do in countless interviews. So, trying not to sing along, I looked upon the object of my affection, and while doing this, noticed I was being eyeballed by Kenney, who noticed that I was FUCKING GAZING at Chris. I quickly looked away. Mind you, this all happened in like two minutes. All of it.

They sang, Chris stood up and said "what can I sign for ya?" and began his rounds. There were 12 of us, so I was lucky to be in a small room with a small amount of people.

When Chris got to me, he said, "How are you?"

This was said softly, I think he could see how nervous I was.

"I'm fine how are you?"

"I'm fine."

"Actually I'm freaking out," I said.

I forget what else was said in this moment. He did say "I'm lookin' at your tattoos."

He's seen them, it had just been two years and who remembers someone they met for a mili-second two years ago?

"Oh yeah, the first time you almost pulled my arm out of my socket, and my sister almost killed you."

He chuckled. I had handed him my hoodie. He looked at my arm, and at the hoodie, saying under his breath "what can I write, what can I write."

Well....this is what he wrote:

This has since been completely ruined by trying to scotchguard it. It's still there, it's just faded.

In the middle of drawing this for me, he said "do you want to take the picture now?" to the woman who had been our guide. She nodded, Chris leaned in a little and so did I, and something made me giggle.

I giggled so much that when the flash went off, my mouth was open, my teeth were now in the picture I had dreamed of having for so long.

"Oh NO!" I said, "you made me show my teeth!"

He looked at me and said, "what's wrong with your teeth?"

Now in my life I have been accused of being *shudder* cute. So, this part would have to be put in that catagory.

I covered my mouth and said, "I don't like my gap."

"so?" he said, "that didn't stop that model, what's her name?"

He snapped his fingers trying to find it, the people in the room said, "Lauren Hutton."

"Yeah, Lauren Hutton."

"But she's gorgeous all around, you see." I said.

He leaned back, "You're gorgeous all around too, don't sell yourself short."

I could do nothing but fall over a little, say "Oh my god," recollect and say, "Thank you."

"Everyone has something they don't like," He said, handing me my hoodie. "I don’t like my neck, I have such a long neck, whenever someone buys me like a “v” neck, I think I’m gonna

look like a giraffe in that! That’s why for like a movie, they show me my wardrobe, I’m like anything but a v neck!”

He stood up to go sign more things for others, and I said, "well you look good in everything,

so don't worry."

He said thank you. (Incidentally, I love his neck.)

It was at this time I noticed Kenney start introducing himself, and when I told him my name and where I was from, he said he'd been through Las Cruces.

"You blinked and you missed it!" I said.

"Well, I'm from the panhandle of Texas, so I understand." He said.

"Yeah true!" I said.

Kenney sat down next to me and started to pick on me, taking out his sharpie and trying to write on me, saying he was gonna "fix my tatt."

I said "No," playfully, and smiled.

He wanted to see my bracelet, made fun of me for my purse, and asked questions about my rings. All of my jewelry, all that I was wearing, was given to me. Kenney smiled.

"Man, people just GIVE you stuff."

I smiled, "People love me, I have a family."

He continued to talk with Mara, and I tried to catch the snippets of conversation Chris was having with everyone else in the room. He started talking about Russia, how he thought it

was gonna be this "black and white world, KGB, but it's like time square!"

I started to drop out. I'm sort of ADD sometimes, and I just float away when I'm not being spoken to.

I looked up and Kenney said, "right Moni?"

I said, "huh ?" and everyone laughed.

Then I lamented how everyone does that to me.

I could see that Chris about to exit, and as he sat down with Mara, she loaded up his lap with Corn Nuts. She happened to have some in her purse, having gotten off her braces. It

was the cutest thing I'd ever seen. I didn't know he liked Corn Nuts. He really is the man of my dreams!!

Before they left, Chris told a story about scaring Kenney, and off they went to get ready

for the show.

I was right up front. If you've ever been to the Celebrity Theater, you know that the stage is round, it rotates, and that the front row is right up against it. I could TOUCH the stage.

What followed was my dancing to every song, mouthing the words. I took off my heels, which floating free almost ended up underneath said stage.

Chris noticed me right away, making faces and trying to get me smile. All I could do was giggle.

This was enough for me. Enough to make my life.

It was during "Worked It Out Wrong" that this changed. I was gazing again, and noticing me after singing the first half of the first verse, he quickly walked to the edge of the stage where I sat, crouched down, his face close to mine and sang:

I know that you're hurtin' too

I know you're all alone

I know that you're comin' back

I worked it out wrong

I worked it out wrong

Amazed, all I could do was look into his eyes. I knew this would never happen again, so I took full advantage to look at, and into, those eyes, and see his beautiful face so close to

my own.

Once he noticed he was slowly rotating away from me, he stood up went on with the song. I looked away and said to the people sitting with me, "I can die now!"

Other highlights included Kenney waving at me and saying "Hi Moni!"

It was such a great night, AN AMAZING show, and I will NEVER forget it. Never. He is the nicest guy, so sweet, so handsome.

I wish he knew I thought so.

And now....

THE GRATUITOUS CHRIS ISAAK AND MEEEE PICTURE NUMBER TWO!!!

This happened before the other picture, I just prefer the other one. I look less DUUURRR in it.

HAZ A GOOD NIGHT PIPPLEZ!!

~Moni